Oranges, who’d a thought?

I have been struggling for about two and a half weeks to put into words and write a blog about an amazing experience our team had where God provided for us when we were least expecting it. God really spoke to me throught that moment so I wanted to write a blog that captured the essence of the moment and what he taught me through it and I was reading my beautiful teammate Kathleen’s blog and she captured the experience beautifully in the way I was trying to so I want to share it with you:

 

Luke 9:10-17

“When the apostles returned, they reported to Jesus what they had done.  Then he took them with him and they withdrew by themselves to a town called Bethsaida, but the crowds learned about it and followed him.  He welcomed them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and healed those who needed healing.

 Late in the afternoon the Twelve came to him and said, ‘Send the crowd away so they can go to the surrounding villages and countryside and find food and lodging, because we are in a remote place here.’

He replied, ‘You give them something to eat.’

They answered, ‘We have only five loaves of bread and two fish- unless we go and buy food for all this crowd.’ (About five thousand men were there.)

But he said to his disciples, ‘Have them sit down in groups of about fifty each.’ The disciples did so, and everyone sat down.  Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke them.  Then he gave them to the disciples to set before the people.  They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.”

Last week we practiced simplicity. Yet how do you learn and practice simplicity?  The Spirit led our leaders to read what Jesus did in His ministry and then sent us out to do as He did.  In a word, it was mind-blowing.  While God met me in incredible ways and is teaching me so much about myself, who He is, and how I am called to be like Him, one particular experience stands out.  An experience with oranges.

Tuesday we were sent out into Matamoros to be disciples.  After being awoken at 5:00am, hurried into vans with nothing but our bibles, journals, pens, and warm clothes, we had a quiet time and then headed to our location.  We were dropped off in a very poor community in Matamoros.  We had no plan, knew nobody, and were still struggling with our very broken Spanish.  As our leaders prayed over us and sent us out, they gave each team a bag with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, two apples, and 3 envelopes with our assignments to be opened at 10:00am, lunch (12:00pm), and 2:30.  Off we went in high spirits praying that the Spirit would fill our team and guide us.

 As the morning continued we became slightly frustrated. This language barrier was truly limiting us.  We could ask simple questions, sometimes understand the answer, and pray for individuals (In English of course) but we hadn’t been able to really connect with someone and share our hearts and faith with them.  We felt a little frustrated and slightly useless.   The sun had risen and was beating on us.  We were weary and hungry.  Around 11:45 we sat down on some rocks to revive ourselves with lunch.  Though we initially weren’t going to read the 2^nd assignment until noon, Brittany decided we could do it a little early and pray over it as we ate.  We passed out the sandwiches and hand sanitizer as Brittany found the 2^nd envelope.  The peanut butter and jelly sandwich was in my hands;  it looked so good, just what I needed and we were all eager to eat.  Yet before we blessed the food and dug in, Brittany stopped us with our assignment. “Feed six people,” it read and quoted Luke 9: 10-17. 

My heart sank.  We all looked around at each other, knowing full well what that meant.  These sandwiches weren’t for us.   “But God, I was so ready for this… and it is right here in front of me, just ready to fill me up.  We are six people… can’t we feed ourselves?”  I wondered this silently, yet we grumbled and reluctantly passed our sandwiches back into the bag and put them in the backpack.  As we sat there, we openly expressed our disappointment at not eating that day.  We were hungry and tired.  “Well, we are called to give of what we have,” one remarked.  “We got to eat breakfast and will have dinner.  Missing one meal won’t hurt us.  After all, one of our meals is more than many of these people get all day,” another said.  As I tried to encourage my team by sharing some thoughts on fasting, I regret to admit that inside, I was thoroughly annoyed.  “Ok God, we will provide for these people in Your name.  Guess I don’t need food… but I’m not happy about it.” 

Just as we were expressing these frustrations, a woman walked down the road carrying a plastic bag. “Hola,” we said.  Our team says this to every person we pass, every single one of us.  I’m sure it is somewhat comical, yet it is our way of knowing if an individual is willing to talk.  “Hola,” she replied.  Then she reached into her bag, pulled out a green fruit, and offered them to us. “Naranjas,” she said, meaning oranges. At first we said no, but Rosie (as we soon found was her name) was insistent and gave each of us a green orange. We thanked her profusely and feeling that we must give something in return, we awkwardly offered her a sandwich. “No, gracias,” she replied, then with a blessing, bid us farewell and continued on her way.  We sat for a moment, and then laughter broke out.  God is so much bigger than our hunger!  Just when we gave up on food to provide others, He provides for us.  “I feel like the disciples now,” I said as we peeled the oranges and devoured them. How true that was.  I have been reflecting on the oranges all day, and God has shown me so much about both my shortcomings and His power.

How often am I like the disciples, underestimating how God can and will provide for my needs?  In this verse, the disciples had just returned from being sent out by Jesus to minister.  They were probably tired and hungry and needed some down time.  They had been serving others, and were ready for a little something for them, yet the crowds followed and Jesus did not turn them away.  “Send the crowd away so they can go to the surrounding villages and countryside and find food and lodging, because we are in a remote place here,” they said, yet Christ told them to feed the 5,000. I can picture their reactions now. In fact, it was probably very similar to ours.  You want us to feed them?  Surely you’re kidding… all we have is this food, and even this isn’t enough.  You want us to give away what is ours, what we want and need?  On top of that, we would have to go buy more out of our pocket.  Where will we find that?  We are in a remote location!

 While I know that God provides for me, I always imagine it on a grand scale.  I think this is because I have never truly been in need of food, shelter, sleep, water, etc.  I have always had my most basic needs met which is a blessing as well as a curse. I have never been in a place where I can’t rely on myself or someone else to provide the necessities for me. So when we were hungry and were asked to give away our food to others, I assumed my needs wouldn’t be met.  I expect God to provide for others through me, yet I don’t expect Him to provide for me.  What little faith I have! What a doubting Thomas I am!  Praise God that He provides what we need! 

Let me also say that God provides what we need, not what we want or think we need or would chose to be provided with.  Just like the oranges.  They were greenish yellow instead of orange.  This is not what I expect good oranges to look like, yet they were exactly what I needed.  They were so sweet, so refreshing, so much better than a sandwich could have been and by far the best oranges I have ever tasted!  I wouldn’t have picked them for myself, yet God knows what I truly need in every situation.  I think about the oranges I eat at home, how orange they are, then I remember reading once that this is artificial.  Many oranges have a chemical injected into them that causes them to look orange and perfect.  This doesn’t mean that they are ready for eating yet, but we don’t know the difference. God does. 

While God is still teaching me through this experience as well as many others, I have finally come to a place where I have faith that He can and will provide.  I am so thankful that God has brought me to this place where I have to rely on Him, to trust that He will provide for me, to stop trying to fix everything and provide completely for myself.  I am so thankful for green oranges.